The Things Dave Says
Every day Dave makes us laugh. I thought it would be great to honour Dave by creating a page of quotes just by him :)
Sometime a while back.
"I'm not homophobic. But I can't stand them puffs"
"That bloody Ann Summers has got a lot to answer for."
Today he fell asleep so we didn't get anything particularly funny out of him. Except a snore - and that made us laugh :) Poor Dave's getting old ;)
Again, we didn't get anything wordwise, but he did laugh until drink came out of his schnozz. Can't remember why...
Ooh, lots today...
Dave on bananas: "I buy all the bent buggers just to be awkward"
"I'm telling you. I've always got my back to the action."
"When I go to the pub, you can bet your life if something happens - it's behind me."
"There was a big girl called Scots Jenny who used to provide extra curricular massages"
Dave quotes himself: "There was one bloke who only had one bloody arm. An I thought 'Bloody 'ell! There's 'ope for me yet!'"
Dave's most frquent quote is now - "Don't quote me on that!"
Dave on tornadoes: "It blows like one up my bloody alleyway"
Dave on the education system: "I could never believe it when they allowed them to have calculators instead of mental arithmatic."